Wednesday, 3 November 2010

What Little Girls Really Want

guest post by Mr Badger

In my years of solitude before "getting together* with" Mrs Badger, I was asked to be a Godparent to the newborn child of a good friend from college, who I shall call Dr Plant.


"For goodness sake why me?" I cried in genuine horror that I should be trusted with assisting the emotional well being of a tiny little boy. (Oh how we laugh at that level of commitment now!)

"Because you're single and therefore have disposable income that you can spend on him." came the sensible reply.

So fast-forward 10 years and I, Mrs Badger, and the eponymous Lumpy are round at Dr Plant's house with their 3 children, the eldest of which was having his 12th birthday. He is an earnest little soul, very academic and concerned about wildlife, science and the correct ordering of coloured pencils and legos. His current 'thing' is art, so he was naturally receiving lots of arty stuff like a watercolour set, an easel, paintbrushes etc. His 7 year old little sister, was squirming with unconcealed jealousy at him getting presents, but not at the content of the presents. The conversation with Dr Plant went something like this:

Daisy: "Why is he getting all this arty stuff?"

Dr Plant: "Because he likes art"

Daisy: "But he might not want everything to be arty"

Dr Plant: "What else would he like then?"

Daisy: "He might want a GUN"




* In this case "Getting Together With" means: "Becoming intimately acquainted with the jar of dead wasps that she kept in her so-called-room in the attic". I'm not even joking.

PPS - By the way, the picture is Mrs Badger showing Granddad Badger how to handle a firearm. Shoot that fish! That one, there. BANG!

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Regurgitation

Stumbling downstairs in my 'day pyjamas' (yes, I get up and put on fresh pyjamas. I'm not a total slob, you know), wrangling Lumpy, who was attempting to fling himself out of my arms in a kamikazee dive for the floor, I clumped over to the French doors and dragged the curtains open, to let in the glory of the grey, dismal day, in all its grey dismality.

And then I trod right in a pile of cat sick. It took me a moment to realize that it was cat sick, as I stood there with it oozing between my toes (I was in bare feet, naturally. Of course I was.). Hmmm, I thought. That feels squishy. And a bit lumpy. But it isn't Lumpy. He's still in my arms (just). I wiggled my foot around to get a better sense of what it was in, and then I looked down. Yes, there it was. Barely digested cat biscuits. Now stuck between my toes and ground nicely into the carpet.

Well, it makes a change from baby sick, I suppose.