About six months before the arrival of Lumpy, we were sent a wedding invitation for August 2010. In Heidelberg. Which is in Germany. And thus quite a long way from Oxford.
We ummed and ahhed for a while over whether we should accept. After all, Lumpy could have been overdue, and would then only be about four weeks old (rather than a fabulously mature six weeks, at which point he would be able to feed and dress himself, and probably even help out with the driving). We had no idea how we'd be coping. Maybe we still wouldn't be capable of leaving the house. let alone transporting ourselves and a baby to a foreign country. Madness would surely ensue. And probably divorce, bloodshed, and baby-throwing.
We accepted. Of course we did.
Which is how we found ourselves in a car stuffed full of 18 thousand baby grows, several packets of disposable nappies (I know. The horror, the horror. But, obsessed though I am, I wasn't going to cart five days worth of dirty washables around Europe with us), assorted baby-scaring toys, a new luxurious lamb skin car seat liner, and four bottles of breast milk (which we were somehow going to keep cool until the Saturday night, so mummy could have a drink... ohmigod vat of wine, nom nom nom badparentbadparent).
We were booked on the Eurotunnel, as we'd decided that we clearly needed more stuff than could fit on a plane. And driving more than 1000 mile across five countries would clearly be far easier.
Which, actually, it was.
I wish I could entertain you with tales of epic screaming fits on the autobahn, and nervous breakdowns in strange hotels, induced by yet another sleep-free night. Actually, I don't wish that at all. That would be stupid. In reality, we had an amazing time, and Lumpy was an absolute star the entire time. He cried less than he usually does, which is not very much at all. He behaved himself impeccably throughout the wedding ceremony, charmed the other guests, and slept solidly from 9pm till 2am at the reception, so mummy could enjoy her vat of wine. And her first hangover in about 11 months. Lovely!
Which all made for a wonderful long weekend. But a rather dull blog post. Sorry about that.