Oh why does this woman abuse me so?

So I iz sitting in me buckets, tryings to relaz after a hard dayz droolings, as is any gentleman's right. I hads a couple of complaints. First offs, water iz not deep enough. I likes to drinks my baths, and recentlies, no matterz how fars I put my feets up, still cannot get mouthes under waterz. Alsos, massage I ordered not been delivered. But stills, was trying my best to relaz, despites these irritations.

And then this womans come along (she sez she iz my mothers. I haz som doubts). And she putz this on Lumpies headz. And larfs. And larfs.

Then she gets photo-making-box, to record Lumpies shame and publish to the worldz. No picturz, I sez. Leave me in peas! I deservz privitsy. But she ignorz.

I makes stupid things fall off.

She putz back on.

She iz idiot, I thinkz.

I iz movings out. Soon as I escapes buckets.