Monday, 25 October 2010

The Resurrection of Terrence

Terrence lives!

After his deeply traumatic deflating incident, Terrence had taken to huddling behind a chair, so floppy with shame that he could barely stand to be seen. He was floating barely an inch above the ground and was often mistaken for a crisp packet (albeit a rather large and vicious one). The Badger family started to fear that the end was near, and soon all they'd be able to do for Terrence was fold him up and give him a dignified burial in the bin.

But then, as Terrence was fading fast, and all hope seemed to be lost, a donor was found. The emergency tank of donated helium was rushed to the Badger Sett, and Terrence's weak and emaciated form was tugged from his hiding place and laid upon the operating table (aka the floor). So feeble was he, that it only took two nurses to hold him down while the operation was performed.

In the absence of any skilled Tyrannosaurus balloon surgeons, Mr Badger was forced to perform the complicated and dangerous operation himself. With a shaking hand, he picked apart Terrence's inflation pipe (which looks a bit like a willy, now I come to think of it. But let's not add dinosaur porn to our long and shameful list of places this blog has gone that it really, really shouldn't have), and inserted the inflation nozzle. Soon, the life-giving helium was rushing in, and Terrence's eyes flickered open as he began to swell (stop sniggering at the back, there's a life-threatening operation going on here). Before long, he was starting to rise from the operating table, wrestling against his restraining nurses.

Mr Badger struggled to reseal Terrence's inflation pipe, to keep the essential helium inside, and to avoid a terrible squeaky-voice inducing leakage. In the panic that followed, Terrence broke free, and bit the head clean off one of the nurses.

Almost immediately the cheering erupted. Terrence was back!

Mrs Badger went and put her best hat on in celebration. Yes, the first best hat. That's how excited she was.

And no, that's not Mrs Badger. Don't be insolent. It's Terrence, shortly after decapitating a nurse with his bare teeth. RWWWAAAAARRRR.

Lumpy examining Terrence's inflation pipe. Rude!

And, lo, the Tyrannosaurus Rex shall bob above the baby. And there will be feasting and much celebration. (Dinosaurs, XI, 534)


  1. Yay! Rejoice for the monster full of gas and the baby with the enormous head (apparently).

  2. And Terrence returns to Rapturous applause!!! Woo!