Planning on enjoying a beach holiday in the UK with your baby? Well, the great news is that beaches are the perfect spot for breastfeeding, so get your baps out and start enjoying that bracing sea air on your nipples right now!
For those of you new to the exciting extreme sport of beachboobage (and yes, that is copyright, so don't you go stealing it), here are a few hints and tips to show you why British beachboobage is best for baby, best for you!
One thing beaches have is plenty of sand. And we all know that sand is an essential element of every new baby's diet. But did you know that 98% of three-month-olds aren't getting enough sand? To make sure your baby isn't one of them, be sure to engage in beachboobage at every opportunity. Luckily, the windswept nature of most British beaches ensures that plenty of this essential sand will make its way onto your nipples, and thus efficiently and hygienically into your baby. Remember, your baby is also able to absorb sand through his bottom, so don't forget to include a nappy change in your beachboobage routine.
Babies love dogs, and dogs love beaches - making beachboobage the perfect combination of all three. While feeding on a beach, you will become a dog magnet. Those pooches simply won't be able to resist a sniff at your baby's delicious head. Make sure they give it a good licking: there's nothing like dog saliva for curing cradle cap and boosting brainpower.
There's always weather in abundance on a British beach. From icy winds to stinging sleet, torrential rain and even, if you're really lucky, snow storms! You and your baby will love the challenge presented by the multiple layers of clothing -- play an impromptu game of hunt the boob to help stimulate and frustrate your infant!
There's no dining like beach dining, and the British seaside offers everything a nursing mother needs for health and wellbeing. Did you know that a 99 cone with an extra flake represents one of your five a day? Or that seaside rock has been found to boost milk production by up to 87%? Well, it's true, so chow down in the knowledge you're doing you and your baby the power of good.
Beachboobage -- nutritious, fun, cold, and full of dogs: what more could you ask for in a breastfeeding experience? Get down there and flash some unsuspecting holidaymakers now!