Run, Badger, run!

As I seem to remember mentioning in the past, me and running don't really get on. Truth be told, we hate each others' stinking guts. You see, running thinks I make it look bad, what with all the shuffling and wheezing and puking and weeping. I'm not good for PR. So we just don't talk to each other any more. I'm fine with it. I really am.

[Runnnnning!! I loooooove yoooou! Acknowledge meeeee!! Bastard! I'm seeing swimming now, so paaaarrrrp to you, poo breath.]

[It's complicated.]

Other people, however, get on all right with running. Strange, masochistic people who clearly need to, um, stay in more. And eat pies.

One of these odd types is Mr Badger. I've tried my best to break him out of his nasty running habit, mainly by feeding him lots of pies, but to no avail. Recently, I even went so far as to spawn the ultimate anti-running device, which steadily saps you of all energy by waking you up every 2 hours and shouting at you (yes, Lumpy, I'm talking about you). This device worked pretty well for a while, but then Mr Badger got involved in a thing called Janathon, and all my hard work went to waste and ruin.

For those who don't know, Janathon involves running (or doing some other activity, like eating as many pies as you can in ten minutes, or smearing yourself in lard) every day, and blogging about it. It's day three, and Mr Badger has been doing amazingly well thus far. Not content with being all fit and virtuous, he's decided to add insult to injury by cheating on this blog with a tarty new blog all of his own. You can find it here, in all its sweaty glory. Two other distinctly unhinged friends are also attempting this madness, loony ex-rower number one and loony ex-rower number two. I encourage you all to go to their blogs and jeer at their pitiful dedication and fitness.

To show my support and solidarity with this cause, I will be eating chocolate every day in January. And resting my ever increasing arse on the couch. I may also watch a lot of darts, as I feel those fine athletes are ideal role models for such an endeavour. If I work really hard, I can probably put all my baby weight back on by the beginning of February. I'll call it Fatathon. And I'll keep you updated.